It all ended

I went to the midnight screening of

Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part Two

last night knowing full well that 

I had to wake up at 7am

and go to an 8 hour work day.

But I had to do it.

It was the final one.

Of course it was pouring and packed last night.

I cried.

A bunch.

Especially during the Snape scenes.

I love Snape.

When he looked into Harry's eyes,

it killed me.

Snape's memories -

also killed me.

And this last film made me love

Professor McGonagall even more.

And way to go Neville!
(Who is also a certified babe now.)

At the end of the film,

I couldn't believe that it had been ten years.

That I had grown up with the series.

At the beginning, I wasn't into Harry Potter at all.

I could barely get past the first chapter

of Sorcerer's Stone.

Then I became a diehard fan for the books.

Coming from someone who hates lengthy novels,

this is saying a lot.

I remember getting up way too early,

eagerly awaiting the UPS man to bring

that special box

with that special book.

I remember rushing to my room,

propping the book up on my pillow,

and devouring a 500 page book

as though it were a limerick.

I remember crying when Sirius died.

I remember I brought the 7th book to

theater rehearsals with me -

sitting on the stage

when I read that Hedwig died.

I remember rereading the first kiss between Harry and Ginny,

because I wondered if a boy had

ever felt that way when he kissed me.

It's hard to believe that it's been 10 years.

I'm 21 now, and the story has ended.

While watching the film last night,

I thought, "He's got one of the horcruxes now,

but man - now something bad and annoying is

gonna happen that's going to put them in a difficult spot

and - UGH."

But I realized something - that's okay.

That's what happens in real life.

At a moment of greatness,

sometimes complications get in the way.

These complications certainly aren't as

dramatic as they in movies,

but we face our own adversities.

And I like that Harry Potter showed me that

it's okay when tough times come around.

Because as bad as it may seem,

at least you're not trying to defeat the most evil wizard in the world.

Old ghosts haunting me tonight,
and all of a sudden

this blog turns into my high school journal.

I swear,

no matter how much you think you've changed,

you haven't.

And I know none of these sentiments are original

or unique.

Everyone has gone through something like this.

And I feel like one in a billion of tiny shattered pieces

who are haunted by someone they want

and can't have.

And shouldn't have.

And is not meant for them.

 I hate this feeling.

And I hate that I think it and feel it

all the time.

She's an Uptown Girl

I went to my favorite Mediterranean place
(the only Mediterranean place I've been)
the other day with Alan to get the kufta kabob sandwich.

I LIVE for that thing. It's ground up pork (?), lamb (?) -
I'm not sure. It's just a combination of awesome.
And their twice fried potato slices - YUMMY.

I got there, and the waitress said,

"We only have one kufta."

I looked at Alan, and I almost started tearing up.

Not really, but I was genuinely sad.

The Id of my subconscious kicked in,

and I selfishly wanted to claim the last one for myself.

But I've had the kufta about three times now,

and Alan has only had it one time.

So I insisted on trying something else.

Alas,

The chicken breast sandwich.

It was pretty delicious actually. Marinated in

lemon juice and other spices. Pretty delicious.
I said that already...

Uptown Cafe
117 South Perry Street
Lawerenceville, GA

Parlez vous francais?

So I've decided to study abroad in the fall.

After weeks of going back and forth,

I had a talk with my editor.

She's a graduate student, and she's going to France

this summer.

I told her about being scared to leave from home.

I told her that I wasn't sure that was a good enough reason.

She told me, "You're scared. That's exactly why you should go."

She told me about being an undergrad and

missing out on studying abroad, because she was scared.

She convinced me.

So now I'm getting ready to be Provence for three months.

Working all summer to help pay for room and board.

Applying for my passport for the very first time.

Trying to learn a little French.

And, of course, planning my wardrobe.

Essentials, essentials, essentials.

According to SCAD Lacoste Guidelines:

Fall weather starts in the 70's and gets colder and wetter in October.
By the end of the quarter most days are in the mid to low 50's.
Temperatures will dip significantly in the evening.
Layering will be a must this time of year as it can be warm in the sunshine,
but sweater weather in the shade.
Expect some thunderstorms, high winds, and occasional showers this time of year.

So, I'm thinking*:

Target cargo jacket
Gap blue blazer
Gap chambray shirtdress
Gap striped shirtdress
Old Navy striped dress
Target striped top
Target grey top
New York & Co. black chinos
J. Crew grey pants
Old Navy white skirt
3-4 pairs of leggings/stockings
Old Navy flips flops
Dolce Vita for Target boots
Chambray Keds

Payless flats

*Subject to change.

Gala gala

I was fortunate enough to get into the

SCAD Seen Gala for free.

Tickets ranged from $150 to $275.

Yikes!

With these prices, it was no wonder that

the people sauntering through

4C were some pretty swanky people.

The gala is a scholarship for SCAD -

students and teachers create work,

rich people bid on it,

and the money goes to scholarships.

Every year they showcase a different major.

I think I came during a great year -

fashion was the focus.

They set up platforms for each student designer,

and they sold their work to these swanky people.

The food.

THE FOOD!

I wanted to take a picture of all

the stuff I ate, but I was scared I was

going to drop something.

But let me tell you -

YUMMY.

I didn't stay for the ice cream.

(Fun fact: Pretty sure that ^ will be the title of

my collection of creative fiction

should I ever publish one.)

My bun started falling apart,

so I knew it was time to leave.

Plus, my feet were killing me

from crashing down onto the concrete floor

with every step in my high heels.

Fear

I don't think doing good things means

that good things will happen to you.

Or maybe I just haven't been a

good enough person these past 21 years.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

Why no great opportunities are opening

up for me.

Maybe it's my incessant complaining

instead of incessant hard work.

I don't know what the key is.

I don't know what I should be doing with my life.

I'm afraid that all of this indecision - 

all of this wondering will continue my whole life

and I will have died with a pointless,

mindless

existence.

I didn't realize it until I got home from New York,

but I am so afraid that I will do

nothing meaningful with my life.

I had always heard people say that,

but I never understood until I went to New York

and got my hopes up.

I never knew I would be so afraid of that.

City Never Sleeps

I went to New York this weekend for an interview.
The interview bombed.

I'm still trying to work out how the whole thing in my head.

Until I can sort out my feelings, here's a video.

Birthday

Today is my oldest brother's birthday.

We're all going out to eat at the sushi restaurant

that my OTHER brother works at.

I think tonight is the night to debut

my H&M dress from their

Conscious Collection.

So pretty!

I love how the fabric swishes around

my legs when I move around.

Paired with:

Thrifted belt

Target sandals

Sartorial

I met Scott Schuman, of The Sartorialist fame,

Monday night.

He was a lot shorter than I expected.

He was cooler than I expected.

My friend Stephanie was interviewing him for

a piece at the newspaper.

I couldn't find anyone to photograph the interview,

so I took the Canon in tow and

photographed a photographer.

Very nerve-wracking.

We were waiting the entire night.

After his lecture, there was a giant line

of people waiting to talk to him.

He was nice enough to talk to each one

and take pictures with them.

There was a lady from AOL before us

waiting to interview him.

So we talked to him dead last.

Also, SCAD was taking him out to dinner afterwards,

so we had five minutes.

And we could tell everyone was impatient.

Boo.

We got a quick little interview,

and on my way home I realized

that we were in such a hurry

that I didn't even get a picture with him.

P.S. I met Scott Schuman wearing

a striped Target top

blue American Eagle shorts

& Steve Madden wedges.

Maybe should have tried a little harder...

"B" is for

I went thrifting with my mom last night.

We're obsessed with our local thrift store,

Park Avenue Thrift.

They know how to get us too.

Every week they send out coupons

that discount every color except for one.

I found this cape!!!!

So beautiful.

I already know people are gonna ask,

"What does the 'B' stand for?"

I've got my response ready:

"BADASS."

My mom was like,

"Don't you have something like that already?"

What can I say?

I'm a sucker for simple day dresses and accordian pleats.

The perfect summer blouse.

Remedial

Today I used a stress remedy I haven't used

since I was dumped in high school.

I put on my rarely worn Nike shoes

and ran at my local park.

I got a bad phone call on my way home,

and I was just put off for the rest of the day.

I couldn't focus on anything, and I just wanted to get out.

I haven't been getting a lot of sleep,

I've been overly sensitive about things,

and I've just had a very low tolerance for people lately.

So I think a good trail run was past its due.

I grabbed the wrong camera,

so pictures are via my iPhone.

I hadn't been to this park in a while,

so when I finally went today, I was pleasantly surprised

to find that they had upgraded their trail.

I ran/walked through the part of the new trail,

which connected to a neighborhood, then up to a street.

I was out for a good hour.

Just relaxing.

But I couldn't stay much longer, because I knew

the consequences of dwelling in a dream

were waiting for me in reality.

Dreamed a Dream

I saw my good friends James and Rudy yesterday.

They are two of my favorite people.

So funny, so warm, so nice.

I've known them since high school.

We were all drama nerds together (can't you tell?), so it's always nice to see them.

James bought me lunch at this pretty awful restaurant.

The best things were the appetizers and dessert.

We got the fried cheesecake.

Yummm.

I watched their performance of Shakespeare's "Midsummer Night's Dream."

Rudy played the director, and he was amazing.

I was laughing so hard.

I miss that guy.

In the Lowlight

Being A&E editor has been... challenging.

In ways that I wasn't even expecting.

Being in a creative copywriting class -

a field that I am totally unfamiliar with

has been really frustrating.

I'm working on a Pepto ad right now.

Very exciting.

I have so much work to do this week, 

I'm not quite sure how I'm going to balance

my procrastination and work.

I like making lists, so I know all I have to do.

It helped a lot when I first started.

Now. Not so much, but it helps put all my puts in one place.

Meanwhile, the lovely Adele is on the cover of Rolling Stone.

And I am so pleased that she's not all sexified up,

like most women on RS covers are.

I read her interview, and I started BALLING.

Like, crying over the sink kind of thing.

So strange. Because I haven't cried like that in such a long time.